It’s been a bit since I’ve posted but I’ve been debating about which way to start going a little deeper into revealing ME! I’m still not sure but I am writing so I might as well try and say something!
First off, it’s said a lot but I have to say that I am truly a lover and not a fighter! That doesn’t mean I am a lady’s man, that means I would rather get along than fight! I do love my family (all of them) and it is no surprise to me that I decided to start researching our roots and have something to pass on to my children. The more I research the more I love my family!
When it comes to fighting, I think I had my last “fist-fight” when I was in fifth grade! Shortly after that, my friend that I had been fighting with was ran over as he crossed the street heading toward my house! To this day I still know he was on his way to apologize to me and he was taken from us that day! Shortly after that I decided to live by the words that my teacher told me, “It takes a bigger man to walk away from a fight than to start one” and I have done just that! It is truly amazing at how people will react when you walk away from them. In the long run I have earned the respect of those who were wanting to hurt me just a while before!
Anyways, enough on that subject. What else should I reveal? Here’s one that might surprise everyone! This is not to try to start problems, this is to help everyone who thinks they know me realize that they don’t know me as well as they think they do! Are you ready?
Since I was almost 15, I’ve felt like the forgotten sibling!
First off, I love my little sister! I love her kiddos and I even love her husband! I am so glad that she is here and I know what it is like to be a big brother!
However, for the first 14 and 1/2 years of my life I was the baby of the family! That meant that all my big brothers and sisters were often looking out for me! Most of the time this was good and very rarely I would think I was being suffocated! Either way, it was nice being the baby brother!
When my sister was born, I was just getting ready to enter High School. It was a time when I was transitioning and I often thought that it would have been nice to have had a sibling to lean on. However, I found myself feeling like I was on the outside looking in. My little sister was the new star of the family and everyone wanted to do this and that for her. At the same time, my older brothers and sisters were starting their own families and didn’t have much time for me.
My life followed the typical trail of someone who is feeling lost. I sought out a way to hide from it all. It wasn’t long until I found myself doing drugs, not worrying about school (I had been a straight A student before this) and just searching for someone who wanted to spend some time with me!
I think that this time in my life would set the tone for what would happen to me later in life. When I say that I mean that I was one of the lucky ones who got away from all the drugs but it was by discovering religion. Of course, the religion I discovered was radical and more enslaving than freeing. The one good thing to come out of it was that I met my wife while in the church!
Anyways, back to what I was saying. I think that this time in life could have been a time when I could have went down a bad street and never came out of it. Instead, I think I was able to discover just how strong I can be by myself. I made a lot of choices during that time. I looked at those around me and how their lives were unfolding and I decided that I would not be that way! Strange isn’t it? I am partying with a bunch of dopers and I’m loathing their lifestyle! I can’t explain it but it was a time in my life that formed who I would be later on.
For my siblings, I love you all! Being where I am at today I can understand that you were pretty occupied with your own families at the time. I hold nothing against you at all! I love you all and I am so glad to have you all in my life, as little as it might be! We are a good family and, even though we have our problems, I know we stand together. I know I can depend on you when I need you and you have proven this to me in the past. I’m not casting stones at you, I’m just stating these things because I want you to understand ME!
When I write, all that is within me comes out. The things I experienced as a child will be reflected in my writing. I can’t hardly say that my childhood was awesome because I feel like my childhood was stripped away from me! Some things I can say and some things I can’t. When I brag on my children, it’s not because I’m saying they are the greatest (my kids have problems just like every kid) but it’s because I rarely had anyone bragging on me when I was younger! When I hug my kids as often as possible, it’s because I was rarely hugged when I was younger!
Yipes, I’ve gone way out there, haven’t I? Let me just bring this to a close! I’ll try to fix this situation later!
Love and best wishes to all!